This month’s theme is about “She who heals”. When we look at “she who heals`’, is this an individual like a mother, a grand-mother, an energy of the Divine Mother or perhaps our true mirror?
There is a girl, a woman really. She is standing on a bridge, one we all come to at some point in life.
On the one side of the bridge is the land of the innocent and playful girl, on the other side lies the land of womanhood.
But she is caught in a web, the web of her past stories, which makes her believe that she is neither a woman nor has the potential of being Woman. That she is not worth being honored, loved and being seen for the beauty she truly is.
When she and I spend time together we are both children and women. We play, we act silly, we dance, we make crude jokes and dive into deep reflective talks. We have shared tears of laughter and tears of deep sharing. When we are together, I see her essence shining. A beauty that is graceful, humble and radiant.
When I watch her being with her partner, I see how he is one of the individuals who treats her like the girl that is not a woman, supporting her to stay in the web of the past hurts of childhood, of not being worthy of love or respect, of not being seen. I see the sadness in her deep eyes of wanting him to see her for the grand beauty that she is. Her grand Spirit, her grand sense of humor, her grand femininity flowing through her expressed in how she carries her body, how she worships the Feminine healer within her shamanic nature through her offerings and deep connection to flowers, as those flowers mirror the flower she is so desperate to open but not giving her self the permission to flower.
Her deep compassionate and forgiving nature makes her constantly look at herself of where SHE needs to improve/heal. She takes herbs to calm and tame her wild woman nature that wants to scream out the deep emotions of frustration and rage for not being seen and honored by him, constantly thinking it’s something inside of HER that she needs to fix and heal, suppressing this deep momentum that is building up to flower.
Flowering is stepping through the door of expansiveness, crossing that bridge, dropping the shackles of our past, our stories, to step into the new, the unknown, the place where there are no stories. It’s our home, our true Self.
It’s the place where we tap into the deep wisdom that lies inside for us to trust. Trusting the call of the heart. Becoming quiet to hear her whisper from our heart. Trusting in our Self to guide us. How do we know when to trust this voice? When it scares the shit out of us, yet at the same time gives us a feeling of a deep sigh of relief of radiant peace and freedom at the same time.
The beautiful ancient classic texts of Ayurveda write that healing can only take place through active participation of the Vaidya (the word Vaidya comes from the word Veda, meaning wisdom, so it is often translated into healer/physician) and the patient. Meaning the patient needs to want, really want, to heal.
That Vaidya is also that wisdom in our heart.
Often we say we want to heal, we want to grow. But when we are confronted with having to leave our stories behind, which sometimes means leaving those people behind, for healing to take place, our old self starts to go into withdrawal and fear of letting go of the old. Even if we “know” something isn’t supporting us, it is our familiar and safe story.
When we take our true seat, our throne within our body, our vehicle in this journey of human life, we take ownership of our self.
Then we are well seated, svastha, in our self, no one can throw us off, no one can throw us out of our throne.
When we start seeing our Self, we do not need to be seen by others because we see our Self. We do not need anything from anyone as we see that we are full, whole, content. Content with the content and then naturally the way others will see us and treat us changes.
When is it that time? When we are fed up with suffering. When we have the courage to rise above our stories of blaming others for not treating us right and taking responsibility, ownership of our life, of our happiness.
Seeing that crossing the bridge from childhood into adulthood is not leaving one world behind, but merging the youthfulness with the wisdom that comes through maturity while maintaining our childlike nature.
May we all wake up to the happiness we truly are.
